Today, I’m calling all angels. I’m not quite sure how to start this post… I just know I need to write it. This blog has truly given me a voice and it’s something I try to earn every day. I believe this space was given to me for a reason… to help others, to share my light, to share the not-so-pretty parts of motherhood, or even to just validate those of you who feel alone and like your life is falling apart. Babes, we’re in the same boat. Life is messy. Today, one of my dearest friends, whose words have pierced deep into my soul many times and has honestly pulled me out of some deep times, needs a few extra prayers from us right now.
Ashley from The Shine Project and her sweet husband Mike lost their two children in a horrible custody battle this past week. They were theirs for four years. The memories they made, the home and life they created… gone. She said, “I felt as if God left us. That He abandoned us and His miracles were not coming. I tried so hard believing that they would… but there we were… with so much stress and anxiety and unbelievable things happening to us with no protection from any of it. We were given more than we could bear.”
I cannot pretend to even imagine losing my babies, that I even understand what she’s going through. But I have felt those feelings of abandonment and I have felt the stress and anxiety of being a mother. And it’s overwhelming. And it physically hurts. My heart aches for her and every other mother who feels the weight of the world on their shoulders.
“What has been more surprising to me right now than any other feeling I have felt during this time, are the feelings of peace and assurance that He IS there. And that not only is He there, but He’s carrying my load so that it won’t destroy me. In the midst of the destruction of our lives and our family, God sees us, and although He didn’t stop the storm and part the red sea, He has in other ways so that we have what we need to continue on.”
I find strength in women who are not afraid to shine. Even when their light is dim, or has been burnt out for a time. In the midst of Ashley’s personal hell, she’s found a way to inspire… to uplift… to find that tiny bit of good and to see that God is there. That He never left. That He has not and will not ever forget us.
We can’t see His plan. We don’t understand why He allows certain things to happen, why life can be so hard. This drawing has always given me comfort… “But I love it God” — and Christ replies, “Just Trust Me”.
When we trust in Him, when we give Him our sorrows and allow Him to heal our broken heart, we find that He had a plan all along for us. And it might not have been the one we wanted. And it might not have happened when we asked! But I find comfort knowing He’s there. That His arms are outstretched and He can heal our broken hearts.
At the end of the day, we’re all searching for peace. We all have insecurities, we’re worried about our parents, our siblings, our children, and that can cause immense anxiety… to hold it all in… to feel like we have to bear it all for everyone. But we don’t. We are not alone. So today, if you could, spare an extra prayer for Ashley, her husband Mike, and their two sweet babies who just lost the most wonderful parents. Pray for mothers around the world who are hurting, who are trying so hard to remember that God hasn’t forgotten about them. That they’re not alone in their hurt.
If you want to read more about Ashley’s story, it is sure to inspire. She’s much more eloquent than I am and hopefully she can help heal some of you that may feel alone and broken.
And I feel silly even saying, but my website (shoptwistmepretty.com) has launched if you want to check it out! We are tweaking a few things still but hopefully it makes purchasing your favorite lippies just a little bit easier. The one I’m wearing here is Sheer Pink. xo