I’m having a really hard time organizing my thoughts lately. I’m not sure if it’s because they’re scattered all over my random projects or if it’s because my attention span is about the length of my three year old, or if it’s because so much has changed for our little family so quickly. Gig Harbor is the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. The people are nicer than I could have hoped. Like the man who could see me struggling to carry my boxes inside the post office while holding Savy and graciously lent a hand without even asking. Or like the woman who may or may not have been in a hurry but stayed and let my kids play with her dog. Talk about a tender mercy right there. Without that fifteen minute break I’m sure I would have lost it. Or like the couple at the grocery store who ooo’d and awww’d over how beautiful my children were and nearly brought me to tears when they said I was doing a great job.
Parenthood is hard! And I know that I need to cherish these moments because they grow up so quickly. But people who say that obviously don’t remember what it was like being in the middle of it. It must be like child birth. Who would want to put themselves through that again? But we do. Over and over again because either we don’t remember how hard it was or because putting ourselves through all of that ends up being totally worth it.
As I was putting Savy to sleep Boston came in and said “Mom! I forgot to give my little loves a kiss before bed”. He proceeded to kiss me on the forehead and then Savy. Sometimes I feel so blessed to be part of my children’s lives. And then other times I want nothing more than to bang my head into the wall a couple of times.. or at least lock myself in the bathroom for a moment to regroup!
The rain was pretty awful here in Washington those first couple of weeks. Not so much because of the actual rain but because we just weren’t prepared for it. Brian takes the car most days and so we’re usually stranded in our apartment. I’ve felt a little stir crazy, maybe even a little lonely with no one but my kids to keep me company. I’m often reminded of when Boston rides his bike up hills and his little thighs start burning. He usually wants to get off and walk but I always tell him, “when your muscles burn you know they’re getting stronger” and he always replies “Yeah Mom, so I gotta keep going so I can grow big like spiderman”! These trials we face, whether they’re small hills or giant mountains they make us stronger. And without the pain or the fear of the future or the feelings of inadequacy, we could never grow. I know that God has a plan for me. I know that He has a plan for my family. Sometimes I wish He’d let me in on it! Nonetheless, I know He’s aware of my needs and my circumstances. All we can do is wait and be worthy of the blessings so that when He decides the time is right, He can open the floodgates of heaven.
Anyway. I just love you guys. Reading your comments and knowing that there are people out there who care about me is sometimes the only thing that motivates me to keep going!
I am SOOO happy I stumbled upon your blog! I’m LDS as well and I find it really refreshing to find a “Mormon mommy” blog that actually incorporates our religion. I’ve found your posts to be spiritually uplifting and real. I feel happy when I read it. Thanks for sharing and doing everything you do 😀
I enjoy reading your blog. I remember having many of your same thoughts when my kids were younger. It does get easier, I promise!
Abby you are my Rock Star Child! Singing, modeling, or being the best mom! So proud of you…..MoM
I’m so glad I’m not the only one has hard days sometimes. When I am having a hard day, I always have to remind myself of the good days that I have. I’m sure you’re doing a great job, I know a lot of moms don’t feel like they are.
Oh Abby! This post hit me straight to the heart! It was wonderful to talk to you this morning! I hope you know that we really do care! You inspire every single person who reads your blog, and you make us strive to be better people! If you ever want to chat, you have my number!
Blessings,
Esther
Love it. What a wonderful thought! Life is hard, but it’s still so worth it!
Oh man, I can hear my own thoughts through your words…if that makes any sense! =) Yes the rain can be depressing but Washington IS beautiful when the sun is out. How long are you in town for? Maybe we should meet up at the zoo or something (or if that’s weird b/c you don’t REALLY know me, I understand, haha)!
This is a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing on a day I needed to hear it. 🙂
I think you’re doing a great job too. Of course you’ll always be your worst critic. That’s such a good analogy about Boston’s muscles burning/us getting stronger as we go through trials. I think you’ll find out what Heavenly Father has in store for you soon enough.
What a wonderful post!! I’ve felt the very same way!! I adore my kids! But sometimes you just need that time away for your sanity! Hang in there!
https://thetickledglitter1.blogspot.com
Hugs,
Jen
Abby your a champion…I have been following your blog since I saw the link in your Washington post for the digest. I could not relate more to this post- going through a lot of the same stuff in NC. Keep your chin up girl- You are making my day all the way across the nation!
oh i’m so glad that people are so wonderful! and your kids are adorable. you are doing a great job.