Just a couple thoughts… and I’m a rambler

So motherhood as been spanking my be-hind lately.  Little Boston.  Well… he’s three.  That pretty much sums it up I think.  We’ve had such a difficult time keeping him happy lately.  I’ve sort of been feeling… overwhelmed.  Yes, that’s a good word.  I am overwhelmed.  These feelings of inadequacy creep inside my mind and it makes me so nervous, like I’m doing it all wrong.Last night I came upon a couple quotes that inspired me.  That finally gave me peace.

Sheri Dew, one of the most inspiring women I’ve ever met said, “Am I the women I think I am, the woman I want to be?  More importantly, am I the woman the Savior needs me to be?”

All of a sudden I gained this eternal perspective on my life and how these little tantrums or that huge pile of laundry I haven’t gotten to just don’t matter.  What’s important is that we’re able to see past this moment and realize that there is a much bigger picture and a much bigger plan for us.  I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and my family.  Sure, life is hard.  And sometimes it just plain sucks and we don’t understand why we are going through certain trials.  But there is a plan.  And I want you to know that I know that Heavenly Father knows you by name.  He loves you.  He is aware of you.  And if we can just trust Him and know that there is a purpose for all of this then maybe we can find that motivation we need to continue pushing along.

The world would have you believe that what you’re doing isn’t good enough.  Silly blogs.  They really do make you look so much more perfect than you are.  Of course I’m not going to post a picture of what I look like everyday running errands.  Because it’s a red . hot . mess!  I get caught up in the comparing game just like the next woman.  But let’s try not to compare our weaknesses with others strengths okay?  We just need to be the women that the Savior needs.

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We just can’t let the Lord down.  And if the day comes when we are the only women on earth who find nobility and divinity in motherhood, so be it.

I don’t stay at home with my children because I LOOOVE it.  I mean, don’t get me wrong.  I do love it.  But come on, it’s hard!  I’d love to get all dressed up and go to work where people actually appreciate me.  A couple pats on the back and some grown up conversation would be nice!  Ha!  I stay at home with my children because I feel it’s where I need to be.  I know it’s where I need to be.  I would hate to look back and my life and wish I had done something more.

So here I am.  Feeling a little overwhelmed.  Yes.  But I know that this trial is something I can handle.  Because the Lord would not have given it to me if He thought it wasn’t going to make me stronger.  It’s that eternal perspective that we need to hang onto.

Sorry for the ramblings.  I just couldn’t help myself!

Abby Smith

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23 thoughts on “Just a couple thoughts… and I’m a rambler

  1. OK you guys, 3 year old boys need other 3-4 year old boys. They are ready to move on from MOM. I can’t tell you how to do it because for everybody it is different but they need about 3-9 (3 hours per day- 2 or 3 days) hours per week, outside of church, where they start to learn to socialize with other kids. It gives you a break and them a break from mom. There are lots of ways to do this, I took the easy way and gave up clothes etc for my 6 hours per week of pre-school. That was in the day when pre-school wasn’t the cost of a Tiffany bracelet. However, some of my contemporaries chose to do the Joy School thing where they traded around each week- 4 kids, 4 moms, 3 weeks off per month or 3 months off per quarter what ever works best for you. There must be some old Joy School books in the library and there are certainly enough printables on line that you could all get together a really fun opportunity for these guys. You need a curriculum, and a some basic supplies to get this thing going. Abby if I remember you have a degree in Early childhood Education so you should be able to put that to use. As an “former” K-6 teacher almost all 3 year olds are capable of the alphabet and #’s from 1-10 (fingers and toes). And not just “academics” but field trips to the fire station, or the police station, the Zoo, the park for organized games with balls and races, what ever you decide. The libraries have great learning videos that could be checked out. Send them with a snack/lunch, give them a back pack and a “daily” paper to bring home and put on the fridge and you will be surprised at how much easier they are to handle on “School Daze” and the rest of the week. One year I taught in a preschool for 2 days per week and that paid for my 3 &4 year old to go two more days. Kids this age LOVE routine and that schedule gave us routine. Monday was house cleaning (even the 3yr old had chores) and then Tues-Friday at school from 9-12. Home for lunch and naps (the rule was you didn’t have to sleep but you had to stay in your room and play quietly until the big hand was on the 6 and the little hand was between 2-3) and my gosh I was a new woman. Well now that I have ceased to be a “lurker” for one post I wish you all the best. And remind you that “this too shall pass” and they only get better the older they get. Love from Florida, MOM Rose

    1. That was great!! Those are wonderful ideas!! And yes, I have my BA in Early Childhood. It’s definitely helped! Boston goes to a great preschool with his best friend Abby on Mondays and Wednesdays and then on Tues and Thurs we have play dates with his other best friend Bradley. Getting together with friends really does help, he loves his friends! This winter though has been rough because if he’s not sick, his friends are! The past couple of weeks though we’ve all been healthy and it’s been great!! It’s like he’s a new child! Thanks for all the tips!

  2. Oh, thank you for this. I am so encouraged when I run across bloggers who are open with professing their faith. I love that quote you included. “…Am I the woman my Savior needs me to be?” I need to reflect on that often to avoid falling into the trap of feeling like a failure by the world’s standards, when the truth is: we’re all a hot mess. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t have needed to be rescued. 🙂 Happy weekend, girl!

  3. Great, great job on this post Abby. I feel overwhelmed on a regular basis, like you described. Double that if your husband is in grad school (mine too!). I really believe that every sacrifice for children, and home and family is worth it! At the end of my life I know I’ll be intensely grateful I did all the hard things. When I have a bad day parenting, I try to imagine if I was still that little girl, and how I would want my mom to find joy in being with me and raising me. Somehow that always centers me and reminds me that childhood is sacred. They are so much more than a toddler throwing a fit, however difficult that is to remember when they’re screaming in the grocery store. 🙂 Hang in there.

  4. I was feeling like this a while ago and I found this website that is so awesome. I ended up creating a Learning Circle with some of the other mothers in my area and it has been so great. We get together and discuss an article about being a mother etc. The site is powerofmoms.com they even have some great articles on raising kids and just getting new ideas for parenting. This site helped change a lot of how I was feeling about being a mother and comparing myself with others. I just love it.

  5. oh Abby you just wrote exactly how I have been feeling lately. Those darn 3 year old boys I tell ya they are hard. He will be so sweet one second and completely turn the next. constant tantrums and never seems to be happy. I miss my happy boy. I get it and I am so glad you posted this is makes me rethink those moments, makes me want to be a better mom and to look at my sweet maddux through my heavenly fathers eyes. I know I am supposed to be home with my kids so that is what I am going to do and I am going to do my best. Love ya girl

  6. As Abby’s mom I have to say she gave me a run for my money! There were days I wanted to strangle her or run away. Wow, I’m glad I didn’t. Just look at getting through one day at a time knowing what you do that day, has eternal and multigenerational effects. As moms you have to continually ask if the stress is coming from wanting to put YOURSELF and your wants FIRST. These little kids get in the way of that sometimes! There will be years ahead for that. Right now you have little people who have only you to make their world and their future. Looking back now with five amazing children their spouses and 13 beautiful grandchildren, I can honestly say there wasn’t anything I’m sorry about giving up to be the best mom I could. None of you will be perfect moms, but if you are truly giving it your all, the Savior will make up the rest! He will be your best friend in this partnership to raise up children. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know our children and love them even more than we do. They will be your best support. Carry on Moms, grandchildren are your best reward! Love you Abs

  7. I just had to say you are not alone! Being a Mom is hard, but it those like you who take it seriously and are trying their best that make the best moms. Thanks for being real!

  8. Thank you SO SO much for this post. I really needed to hear this today. I too have been overwhelmed with motherhood, lately. And tonight I am sitting here on the couch while my chillins are in bed beating myself up over a few motherly mistakes I felt I made today. Then I read this post and I was able to take a deep breath and remember why I wanted so badly to be a mom and that I can have a do-over tomorrow…and that Heavenly Father knows I’m not perfect and knows my motherly sorrows and picks me up when I need it.

  9. Love this…i've been feeling overwhelmed with my two boys too. What a great reminder and inspiration to get through it all

  10. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you a million times. You’ve articulated perfectly what’s been jumbled up in my head and in my heart for the past couple weeks as I’ve tried to work through feeling overwhelmed. We’ll keep fighting the good fight, eh? Thanks again.

  11. I love the Primary song, 'I Will be Valiant' for this very reason. 'The Lord needs valiant servants, to do his work in the latter days. Who follow the teachings of Jesus, and serve His people in a loving way… ' Valiant doesn't mean bright, or shiny, or skinny, or immaculately cleaned house, or children who obey all the time. It means being steadfast and immovable during this Earthly mission. It means (for this stage in life) serving my kids and teaching them what Heavenly Father wants them to know (in addition to all the school stuff 🙂 ). And because Heavenly Father is merciful and kind, he forgives my shortcomings, and He knows I am constantly striving to do better. Sometimes it's hard to see the blessings and dividends that come from staying at home, especially when you're covered in some sort of food or snot, but they are there. And I can't imagine how happy our Father in Heaven is as he sits and watched us nurture these spirits He sent to us.

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