Connect vs Compete

Big buns and comfy sweaters are Abby's favorite combination.There’s just something about big buns and comfy sweaters that I’m obsessed with.  You know the kind where the sleeves are just a little bit too long and you find yourself curling your fingers around the hem?  Or they’re so relaxed you feel so snuggly all day wearing it?  Those are my favorites.  And I’m #sorrynotsorry about these sandals… and I guess the distressed denim too… I wear them with all the things!  I linked up a few favorites below if you’re interested!

So there’s a article going around titled, Are Utah and Mormon Mommy Bloggers Creating a False Sense of Reality?  You can read it here.  Blogging has changed so much for me over the years and the last few, I’ve tried so incredibly hard to stay authentic. I want other women to be inspired by what I have to say, not compelled to buy things I share or in constant comparison.  You cannot compare your real life to someone’s beautifully-curated instagram feed.  It’s apples and oranges.  I straight up tell you guys that it’s not real life!  It’s only part of one.  And if, at the end of the day, reading blogs or following certain accounts on social media gives you anxiety or makes you feel so depressed because you feel you don’t have enough, or you find you’re constantly comparing yourself to their “perfect” life, you need to unfollow them.

But there are so many women out there who are inspiring. Who can help lift you up, who will enrich your life, and teach you so so much. There is an amazing community of women out there that I’ve gotten to know and love and need!  And when we connect with each other instead of compete with each other we’re allowed to give each other – and ourselves – grace.  Anyway, I obviously have so much to say on this subject but I’m so happy with the article.  What are your thoughts on it?  Have you had issues following certain accounts?  Do you find yourself struggling to connect vs. compete with other women?

Brooke White said, “If we can succeed in creating a more connected environment as opposed to a competitive or perfectionist environment then I think we’re using it for its best, highest good. As women, if we can aim at connection as opposed to competition or comparing then we all win and we can all look at each other with more grace and more enthusiasm and kindness and instead of being depressed, to be inspired.”
Comfortable, casual and chic - this big bun and oversized sweater look is perfect for the weekend. Big hair and big sweaters are a great pair.

Abby's wearing long-lasting lipstick from LipSense

Lip color is Lexie Berry, it’s in stock on my website –!

xo loves

Abby Smith

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6 thoughts on “Connect vs Compete

  1. I am not religious, I live in the city, and I work outside of the home. So of course i don’t compare myself to the images of seemingly perfect home/family shown in these types of “mormon mommy” blogs because I’m leading a different sort of life and have no interest in being a stay at home mom or a housewife. I read this blog for the hairstyles and it has been SO HELPFUL. I learned to dutch braid, to fishtail braid, to do the waterfall braid, and how to do many updos. I’ve received so many compliments at work and other events about my hair. And also, most importantly, this blog helped me reach my goal of growing my hair out long and all one length so I could donate 10 inches to pantene beautiful lengths (free wigs for women with cancer). If I hadn’t learned how to style my hair I might not have been comfortable enough to grow it out that long. So thanks for that, Twist Me Pretty!

  2. You are definitely the most genuine mommy blogger I follow! I absolutely love you! You never ever showed off your beautiful home in a way that made it seem like you were bragging about everything you and Brian were fortunate enough to get, you never push the products you’re loving on your viewers and you never make us feel any less for not having the things you have. You’ve always seemed 1000% real, and that’s why I love following you! You’re so sweet and seem like you have such a kind heart. Thank you for being you πŸ™‚

  3. I have never once felt like you weren’t being real or un genuine in any way which is why I think SO many people love you, and say how much they love your posts, and value your opinion. I know that’s how it is for me at least!! You are the realest of the real. So THANK YOU for that!!! You keep it realistic, funny and humble!
    I don’t follow hardly any fashion bloggers anymore bc I think they have altered their beliefs and views and I just find it so sad. Love all you do! Keep being you! ?❀️

  4. I have definitely unfollowed a few people over the last couple of years. When I first started reading blogs/blogging it was so fun to see people post about their weekend with their family and about a cool project they completed. Now it it almost always an Ad or outfit post that they get money for. I have nothing against monetizing a blog. I am happy for people that are able to make money off of their blog. I just miss the good old days of people posting about their family life.
    I love your blog and your transparency. Thank you for sharing and being so open.

  5. I love following you! I think you make it very clear when you’re giving us a peek at your real, raw life, and when you’re promoting something as part of your business. It’s important for readers to remember that, at the end of the day, this is a way for bloggers to earn income. HOWEVER, I didn’t read the article and I already felt like I knew what it was referring to. I do follow a handful of other bloggers, two of which are sisters (I won’t say names) who I believe are Mormon and also from that area. These women live in million+ dollar houses, carry purses that are $2,000 or more, and put their kids in swimsuits that are $100-200. Everything they post is sponsored and very unattainable for most people. I feel the blogs lack content and mostly just market items, pictures, and products. Following them is more of an escape than a genuine, good read. I’m sure it’s “real.” These women and families seem to make great money and truly live a lavish life, but its really just an advertisement more than anything. I can see how it would get depressing for people to follow.

  6. I LOVE YOU and definitely think you fall into the inspiring category. Thank you for keeping things authentic and real, but also inspirational πŸ˜€ The article hit home with me, because I have noticed how so many people only post about the good and seemingly perfect and that’s frustrating, because you know it’s not one hundred percent honest. Thanks for being true to yourself. Keep on rocking <3

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