I was planning on writing a completely different post today… more along the lines of how exhausted I am from my busy babies and crazy big kids. How tired I am of breaking of fights, picking up toys and making food no one eats. Motherhood is sure a thankless job, isn’t it? Despite the long week, my heart is full of gratitude.
I’ve been praying for a lifeline this week. For understanding. For patience. I’ve been praying for a lot of things but have just felt a little lost. A little forgotten. Today at church I had a tender mercy and a prayer was answered. A sweet little old lady walked up to the pulpit and started her story by sharing how she had five kids in four years with the last two being twins. She talked about how hard her life was, how overwhelmed she was and it was as if she were speaking directly to me. She then teared up and read this scripture: “And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength…” (Mosiah 4:27)
I immediately felt this weight lift off my shoulders and I could feel my Savior wrapping his arms around me. I know that I have not been forgotten. I know that God hears my prayers. And instead of feeling sorry for myself, for the chaos I feel I’ve been engulfed in, I knew I needed to start showing more gratitude for the things I have been blessed with.
An amazing husband who will get me Swig every single night just to see a smile on my face. Who will get dinner for the kids, bathe them all and put them all to sleep so I can catch up on my life. For my 4 beautiful and healthy children who despite their intense tantrums and power struggles are incredibly sweet and kind. They’ve given me a chance to serve, to learn real patience and love. To quote one of my very favorite primary songs, “God gave us families to help us become what he wants us to be, this is how he shows his love for the family is of God”.
And while things sometimes feel like they’re unravelling around me, I know that I’ve been blessed with this family to help teach me the hard things. To help me learn patience, to test my strength, to stretch my mind and understanding. And it’s amazing how when your perspective shifts and your attitude changes, your ability to tackle the world becomes much easier. Because you realize that you aren’t alone. And that God has placed numerous people in your path to help cheer you on to the finish line. You guys are some of those people, and I’m very grateful for your friendship.
I guess all I want to say is that if you’re feeling like you’re engulfed in the thick of it — do not despair. The Lord hears your silent prayers, He knows your heart and there is a reason for the chaos. I love you and I am cheering you.
Diaper Bag: c/o Fawn Designs (literally worth it’s weight in gold)
Necklace: c/o Fashion Nest
Blankets: c/o Ruthie and Sage
“Those who are filled with the love of Christ do not seek to force others to do better; they inspire others to do better, indeed inspire them to the pursuit of God. We need to extend the hand of fellowship. We need to be kinder, more gentle, more forgiving, and slower to anger. We need to love one another with the pure love of Christ. May this be our course and our desire.” –President Howard W. Hunter